101 Reasons Why
You Might Be Hiker Trash
|You Might Be Hiker Trash if . . .|
|1. you can’t walk straight without your pack.
2. a short hike takes three months.
3. your church has no roof.
4. “Going to the woods is going home.” [Muir]
5. the lines on your maps aren’t roads.
6. that fire in your gut isn’t an ulcer.
7. you introduce yourself by your trail name.
8. you belong to “…a race of men that don’t fit in.” [Service]
9. there are no bad days on the trail.
10. you haven’t used toilet paper all summer.
11. you seldom know what day it is.
12. you “…have faith in God and Nature.” [Longfellow]
13. your T-shirts all came from the Gathering or Trail Days.
14. you burn more alcohol than you drink.
15. your cell phone usually reads “no signal.”
16. you “took the [road] less traveled by.” [Frost]
17. cold and wet is pretty much the same as warm and dry.
18. the wealthy envy you.
19. you have no problem with getting lost.
20. you can say “I have walked myself into my best thoughts,” [Kierkegaard]
21. “on the rocks” causes backache not headache.
22. you can survive for days on nothing but ramen and GORP.
23. you find good in all people and all things.
24. “…your trails be only slightly uphill.” [Abbey]
25. you’re more likely to carry a compass than a watch.
26. you can tote better than a burro.
27. you sometimes happen to follow blazes that are white.
28. your “road goes ever on and on.” [Tolkien]
29. you’ve heard the pipes (of Pan).
30. you buy most of your groceries at a gas station.
31. there’s always one more peak to climb.
32. you know “The woods are made for hunters of dreams,” [Foss]
33. you’re wealthy but none of it ‘s tangible.
34. you’re not roughing it when things aren’t level.
35. your “one of these days” list is short.
36. “…you find goodness and joy even in the difficult times” [Luxenberg]
37. your back and knees often hurt for no known reason.
38. your horizon is beyond the rainbow.
39. you consider yourself daily blessed.
40. you know “…the forest makes a claim upon men’s hearts,” [Stevenson]
41. your water seldom comes from a faucet or a store.
42. 5,000 calories a day isn’t fattening.
43. your path isn’t the beaten one.
44. you “Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.” [Muir]
45. each dawn reveals a new horizon.
46. your highs come from climbing.
47. you can out-Yogi Yogi.
48. you well know “…that cold, lonesome track.” [N. Nomad]
49. your weekends could just as well start on Monday.
50. your wants and needs are the same.
51. your REI refund pays your income tax.
52. you “…mock at the mastership of man, [and] seek adventure’s thrill.” [Service]
53. you own no land but what you daily survey is yours.
54. “Beauty Spot” isn’t a skin blemish.
55. you know how to take a “dry” bath.
56. you know that “In wilderness is the preservation of our own sanity.” [Stegner]
57. you know what ADZPCTKO stands for.
58. the local mongrels are the first to greet you to town.
59. you wear out more than two pair of shoes a year.
60. you believe “Mountain wilderness lovers are chosen company.” [Otto]
61. you can pronounce Tuolumne and Mogollon correctly.
62. you customarily bed down where there is no bed.
63. you mail things to yourself.
64. there is “Something lost behind the ranges, Lost and waiting for you.” [Kipling]
65. you’re up at daybreak, down at dark.
66. most any day you can stand straight up and bite dirt.
67. “rocky road” ain’t ice cream.
68. you know that “Not all who wander are lost.” [Tolkien]
69. you enjoy hiking with wet feet.
70. you are no stranger to the generosity of strangers.
71. you gargle with coffee.
72. you know that “…it is in silence…that God best likes to reveal himself intimately to man.” [Merton]
73. a “zero day” has nothing to do with winter weather.
74. you long ago ate your pound of dirt.
75. you aren’t afraid of the snakes and the bears.
76. you understand “The loss of quiet in our lives is one of the great tragedies…” [Olson]
77. you can name all our National Scenic Trails (and have hiked your fair share).
78. most of your friends don’t know your “real” name.
79. your meals need only cooked water.
80. you understand that “Nature never did betray the heart that loved her.” [Wordsworth]
81. you don’t need quarters to do your laundry.
82. your spoon is your fork.
83. enough is never enough.
84. you seek “To wander the fringes of God’s hazy blue.” [N. Nomad]
85. you find wonder in wandering.
86. you can be alone and still be happy.
87. your giving can’t keep up with your receiving.
88. you know that “…a journey has to be made in the mind as much as in the world…” [Simon]
89. you can smell water.
90. you’ve captured the “Triple Crown” but you’re not a horse.
91. your last known address started with “General Delivery.”
92. you are “…restless…and athirst for faraway things. [Tagore]
93. your drivers license reads “I.D. ONLY.”
94. your wallet is a Ziploc bag.
95. your daily supplement is vitamin I.
96. you believe “There is no land discovered, That can’t be found anew.” [N. Nomad]
97. you can “feel” a storm coming.
98. you don’t know the given names of your four best friends.
99. you know the difference between solitude and loneliness.
100. you harbor “A love of the lowly things of earth, And a passion to be free.” [Service]
101. “the good Lord lift[s] up his countenance upon you and give[s] you peace.” [Numbers 6:26]
Certainly hope you enjoyed!
God Bless, Nimblewill Nomad